It’s that time of the year again. Catalogues arrive in my mail basket by the score. In order to cull the ever growing pile, I sort through them before I bring the mail into the house, depositing unwanted catalogues into the circular file located in my front foyer. It’s amazing how these catalogues seem to multiply on their own, just by ordering one product my name has been distributed to every solicitor in the U.S.
I look forward to one catalogue in particular though – L.L. Bean! Even if I don’t intend on purchasing something from their vast selection of cozy, fashionable, and practical winter wear; I like to look at the pictures of what I have affectionately named “The Bean people in their perfect world.” You see, these are not just carefully planned photos of people not only enduring, but enjoying, the cold Northern Winters; These photos show the perfect world you can live in if you buy LL Bean wearer.
The cover of the holiday issue shows a 30 something woman and her robust yet sensitive male companion with their happy and healthy Black Lab. They are decked out in the Bean gear that promises to keep them warm down to -10º F. I can tell the promise is upheld because the man and woman are smiling – even laughing with joy as they drag their perfect blue Spruce down a pristine trail of pure new snow. There is steam from their respirations. Their cheeks are rosy with a glow that can only come from the ecstasy of Bean -10 º to 30 º outerwear. The dog’s tail has wagged into a branch overhanging the trail. Snow gently falls onto pooch’s back, leaving a perfect clump on its Bean pooch coat.
They are heading for their cabin in the middle of very cold New England with their freshly cut from a sustainable tree farm Christmas tree. Not a holiday tree, a Christmas tree! They are happier than anyone in the world could be. It’s the thermals. No one suffers from cold feet or chapped lips, not an achy muscle from shoveling 3 feet of snow. Nothing unhappy ever happens in L.L. Bean, it’s all warmth and glee.
Page 6 is what I’ve named “Saturday afternoon chores.” Here is the same woman now sporting a softer than silk turtleneck in hunter green, with the 40 º to 20 º down insulated vest. Flannel lined Bean jeans and the winter mock-crock slide on clogs in dark brown. She is placing a wreath on the front door of the cabin while Bean Man gathers an armful of firewood from the perfectly stacked pile on the side of the entryway. He has one hand free to open the door while she smiles with outstretched arms. The door is slightly ajar, we can see real garland decking the hall inside. A cup of steaming hot something sits on the railing of the porch. Again, their smiles convey such joy and warmth it’s contagious. I feel festive and positively cozy before I even read the description of how warm their feet are being kept. It’s that gorgeous wreath and the steaming cup; it’s the promise of comfort and joy.
Turning to page 19 we see the happy Bean couple in their rustic but elegant living room. No ultra heavy winter wear now, just the Bean chinos and flannel shirts. His is black watch plaid, hers is camel. They both wear the comfort mocks - his are original, hers are the double fleece lined. They are decorating the tree together. He hands her an ornament as she stands on a low step ladder. Of course, they both smile with such exuberance that I must smile too. The room appears immaculate, unlike my living room chaos while I decorate for Yule. In this photo there is an orderly box of organized ornaments and not a glimmer of mess. The couple is thrilled to be there, they are truly enthralled with their task and each other. No disputes, no disagreements. No cats eating tinsel and dragging their butts across the white carpet. No broken ornament shards to step on. Picture perfect, good tidings to all.
Are your kids acting antsy waiting for school to break for the holiday vacation? Turn to page 34, where you’ll clearly see that children dressed in Bean thermal pajamas are the epitome of well behaved. They smile and laugh as they play a card game, even gladly including the youngest one who may not understand the game, but they are glad to help her learn anyway. They never bicker, fight or say the nasty things that those other, non-Bean kids say. These are good boys and girls who always behave and never cause a second of stress to their perfect Bean parents. They share plate of festive cookies, undoubtedly hand made by the Bean parents, everyone gets one cookie and the rest are going to be left for Santa.
Nothing is ever wrong or less than wonderful in the Bean world, everything always goes as planned. It’s picture perfect, beautiful and bright. When you wear the right Bean garb, smiles and abounding joy will surely follow in every area of life. You'll also be as warm and comforatble as anyone could ever be.
Wishing you a very warm and joyful Holiday and every blessing in Two Thousand Ten.
