Dear Santa,I want a Barbie doll, but Mommy says it objectifies women. My brother wants a G I Joe action figure, but Daddy says it glorifies war. My little sister wants Hannah Montana pajamas, but Mommy says they’re made in China where human rights are violated. Daddy says we can’t have any plastic toys because they’re not biodegradable. My brother wants a squirt gun, but Daddy says they promote violence.I want a new coat with a real fur collar, but Mommy says wearing fur is cruel to animals. I want a Zhu Zhu hamster but Mommy and Daddy say we can’t have anything from Walmart because they treat their employees unfairly. Mommy says we can’t have any Christmas cookies or candy because they’re not healthy for us and will make us fat. Daddy says we can only have toys if they’re educational or teach us a valuable life lesson. Mommy says we can’t have video games because they turn our brains into mush. Santa, please help us. We’re afraid we won’t get any Christmas presents from you. Santa is there anything you can bring us? Your friend,Virginia_____________________________________________________________
Dear Virginia,I know you are a good little girl. You must always listen to your Mommy and Daddy. They know what is best for you. Santa has to listen to them too. They told me you can have fruitcakes and nuts for Christmas. So, Virginia, I’ll be leaving presents under the tree for you, your sister and little brother. Merry Christmas!Your friend,Santa._____________________________________________________________
“Hey, elf. Get these things off the shelf and load them up in my bag: Barbie doll, G I Joe action figure, Hannah Montana pajamas, a squirt gun, a little girl’s coat with real fur collar, Zhu Zhu hamster, Christmas cookies, candy, and some fun video games that aren’t educational. Oh boy, parents these days…fruitcakes and nuts!”
